Recently I read a blogpost about “virgin shaming.” The author known as BeautyBeyondBones expresses her feelings: “I know that my virginity is nothing to be ashamed of, and truthfully, it gives me so much joy and peace to know that I will be able to give that to my future husband one day…” She also mentions “confidence and assuredness in my decision to remain a virgin until marriage.”
BeautyBeyondBones asks: “Will it be a deal breaker for some guys? Yes. Probably most guys. But not for the guy. Not for the right guy.”
Also saw a TV clip of Alicia Jay sharing how at 35 she was still a virgin. Beautiful, confident and calm, there was no sense of shame or embarrassment in her admission. She explained that at age 16, she had made the decision to save sex for marriage and hadn’t gotten married yet. Simple as that. No long explanations with feelings of needing to defend her virginity. It was refreshing. Inspiring. There was a confidence and light in her face. A Fox News article shares: “Faith is a huge part of Alicia Jay’s life and it is her Christian values that led to her decision to remain a virgin until her wedding night.”
In the article Alicia shares: “Faith is the driving force in my life and without God, I wouldn’t be anything. He is the center and he leads me in anything that I do.” The article states: “At 36, Alicia is still waiting for the right guy to come along. She says dating is very hard for her not only because of her height, but also because she is a virgin.” Alicia says, “In general, it’s really hard to date right now but you add in height and waiting to have sex for marriage and guys run for the hills,” she said. “The virginity thing, I’m just here to say it’s still an option because a lot of people don’t even think it’s an option anymore.”
Grammy award winning singer Rebecca St. James was well known for her advocacy and decision to save sex for marriage. Many may remember her song on the topic appropriately called “Wait For Me.” After marrying in her 30’s, Rebecca joined me on Soul Check TV to discuss the topic just months after her wedding.
In the most recent episode of Soul Check TV, Duck Dynasty star Sadie Roberston and I encourage single viewers to practice abstinence until marriage, as God teaches in the Bible. Sadie encourages those who haven’t remained a virgin not to run away from God, but to run towards Him and His forgiveness.
Every single person – virgin or not – can make a decision to save sex for marriage. God’s mercies are new every morning. Each person can have a fresh start.
It’s such an important message – for girls and guys – people of all ages.
God knows our hearts. He created us, He created relationships, He created sex and He knows the best for us and for marriages is to save sex for marriage.
Virginity is not something you need to apologize for. It is a precious gift to be protected and valued, otherwise so many wouldn’t want to steal it. In many people it is a sign of deep faith. Of valuing one’s self. Of valuing their future spouse. Of caring how their actions affect the people around them and their future children. Virginity is nothing to be embarrassed about. Obedience to God always comes with rewards.
There are dangers to sleeping around, beyond the emotional, spiritual and relationship dangers.
One story that impacted my views was that of a young woman whose mother came to visit our youth group. She came to speak on behalf of her daughter, who had a one night stand in a hotel while vacationing in Hawaii. That night the daughter contracted AIDS, from which she died. Yet the mother and daughter wanted her story to warn people and encourage them to save sex for marriage.
So no matter what other people are saying or doing, there is nothing to be ashamed about virginity and saving sex for marriage. Especially when the reason is because you love God enough to obey Him.